The question occurred to me during a discussion with some muso mates about the reasons why gigs seem so hard to promote sometimes, and why potential audiences seem so hard to reach.
We freely blame venues, conditions, competing priorities, the seemingly endless list of options for entertainment… sometimes, frustratingly, musos even blame the audiences themselves - “if they only knew…”
Rarely though have I heard someone ask, “is my music any good?”
And believe me, when you ask that question of yourself, it can lead to some intense thoughts.
I’ve been quiet lately, I can’t even remember the last time I wrote to you. I’ve been working extremely hard on my next record and you know what? Sometimes I’ve hated it. Honestly, it’s been hard and I’ve doubted my decisions and abilities almost every time I’ve sat down to write or rewrite or arrange any of the songs.
Please don’t think that means it’s not any good. I really think it will be. Just the process has been uncomfortable at times, testing too, though very instructional. The process, working with a producer for the first time ever, has also given me moments of incredible happiness and satisfaction. I have produced things that I am so proud of and so excited to share… I am convinced that in a few years I’ll identify working on this record as a pivotal point in my creative life. So I’m thankful.
All of this however has revealed things that my previous recordings haven’t - so I started thinking, really thinking, “is my music any good?”
The truth is some of it is and some of it isn’t (I’ll leave you to decide which songs belong in which category!) but I’m not scared of this anymore. I know I’ve released work that was undercooked or overdone. I’ve released scraps of ideas that I didn’t respect enough. I’ve tried to cover up my voice and guitar playing with effects ‘cause I didn’t think they were good enough. Recently though I’ve started thinking that it is possible for me to create music that sounds good, is well produced and means something to people. This is what I want.
What I think is happening is that I’m finally realising what an amazing privilege it is to be able to write songs and share them with people. That it plays a massive part in my life and I get an immense feeling of achievement from doing so.
All this to say the record, “The Soundtrack of Our Lives”, is gonna take a while longer.
It’ll be worth it though.
Thanks for listening, and being a part of this wonderful musical life I have.
PS Hear a bunch of my songs here!